Toys R U? Getting Started with Sex Toys

What’s better (and longer lasting) than the finest chocolate, and more fun to buy than new clothes? Unlike the aforementioned options, a sex toy is completely non-fattening, plus you don't have to worry if it makes your hips look big or that it will go out of style. If you haven’t purchased your first sex toy yet, give yourself permission to give this very grownup type of pleasure a whirl—or a buzz, a thrust, or a wiggle. Sex toys can keep your sexual engine purring in between lovers, in between sessions with your current honey, or even become a playful new element to stir into your evenings with your sweetie.

Shopping for a sex toy is a lot easier than it once was. Society has come out of the Mad Men days, and sex toys are no longer the subject of tittering jokes. Sex toys are part of the mainstream now, and and purchasing your first one can be not only easy but fun. You can buy your sex toy online, at the modern equivalent of a Tupperware party, or by visiting a fun, friendly store.

Internet shopping allows you to view a wide range of toy choices in the privacy of your home. Companies such as Good Vibrations and Adam & Eve offer amenities such as free shipping , 24-hour customer service, personal shoppers to advise and assist you, and optional overnight shipping. Both sites offer e-newsletters to keep you up-to-date on special offers, sales, and new products. If you live in a conservative area, rest assured: most sex toy stores ship their products to you in packaging that offers no clue to the nature of the contents so you don’t have to worry about the delivery person’s reactions to your purchase.

If you’d rather actually see, hear, and touch your new toy before buying it, you might want to see if someone in your area offers sex toy parties. These parties tend to have a high-spirited, laughter-fueled, girls night out vibe. Partygoers can share tips about which lube is most effective or which toy has the most bang for your buck. If you can’t pick up any information on the grapevine about your co-worker’s neighbor’s sister selling sex toys, try looking online for a vendor in your area. A couple places to get started with your search are or You may even decide you want to become a vendor and sponsor your own sex toy parties.

Some people are hesitant to visit a sex toy store because they have a mental image of a seedy “dirty bookstore” environment. But these days, especially in larger urban areas, there are sex toy stores designed for women and couples to shop in a friendly, relaxed atmosphere. Most stores have dildos, vibrators, and other toys displayed on shelves, with a “please handle” attitude, and even testimonials from customers about their favorite products. The people who own and work in these stores tend to be open-minded, friendly, and helpful. When I picked up a vibrator at Chicago’s Early to Bed on one excursion, the owner exclaimed “Oh that one is great! The first time I used it, I came so hard I fell off the bed!”

Most women’s first sex toy purchase is either a dildo or a vibrator. Both offer the experience of penetration and G-spot stimulation, but there are also differences. Vibrators are mostly battery-operated these days, although a few of the older classic styles are still plug-in, especially for those women who prefer a sensation of heavier pressure. Make sure you know what size of batteries your toy requires and stock up ahead of time.

Most vibrators are designed so that the head and shaft insert into the vagina and the controls are on the base which you hold in your hand. A variation on that (made famous by an episode of Sex and the City) is sometimes called the "Rabbit" and includes an attachment for clitorial stimulation as well as a slight bend to engage the G-spot. Some models have remote controls, which can make it easier to remember in a moment of excitement whether you heighten the speed by turning clockwise or counter-clockwise. There are also models made to slide over the fingertips so the vibrator becomes more an extension of your own hand.

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