Roadmap to the Prostate

Sometimes called the P-spot or male G-spot, the prostate has gotten a lot of press in recent years. You may have heard that stimulating this area can cause more intense orgasms for men, and—guess what?—it's not just an urban legend. The prostate is somewhat like the female G-spot in that it is responsive to firm pressure and, when stimulated, can bring on an orgasm that is an intense, "full-body" experience. So, what's the key to finding this magical spot?

As you can see from the diagram below, the prostate is located internally. You can't see it or touch it directly. To stimulate it, you'll need to put pressure on it in one of two ways: by pressing on it from outside, at the perineum (the skin between the testicles and anus, sometimes call the taint) or by inserting a finger or toy into the rectum and stimulating it more directly.

Since many men still scream and run at the very mention of anything going up the backdoor, you might want to try a little exterior stimulation first. You can try using the pad of your thumb, or your index and middle fingers, to rub in firm circles on the taint. Remember that it's not the skin you're trying to stimulate, but a gland underneath the skin, so focus on pressure more than friction. If you'd like to try adding more pressure, try making a fist and pressing the flat side of your knuckles gently but firmly into the perineum. Both of these are good moves to try as you're giving him a hand job or oral sex.

If he seems open to it and you're ready to graduate to the next level of prostate play, you can try going inside. Before even contemplating this, make sure your nails are neatly groomed with no sharp edges. Ideally, your nails should be cut short and filed smooth. If they are long, you will probably want to wear a rubber glove or finger cot to cover them and avoid a painful and mood-killing jab to his sensitive inner tissue. You'll also need some good personal lubricant, so have this ready.

Once your nails are groomed or covered by a glove, you'll work on inserting a finger into his anus (or, to be less clinical about it, up his butt). The anus is surrounding by two sphincter muscles, both of which tend to hold on tight, so you're going to need to go slowly to get anything inside. Start by gently stimulating the outside of his anus by rubbing it in circles with a lubricated finger. Check in with your partner about whether he is feeling relaxed. If he is, you can start to try to slide your finger inside. Make sure your finger is well lubricated and slide it in VERY slowly, giving the muscles time to relax on the way in. Once you have passed the second set of sphincter muscles, you'll notice less resistance.

You're going to eventually want your finger inside to about the second knuckle in order to reach the prostate. You can see from the diagram the approximate location of the prostate, and you should be able to feel it as well on the front wall of his rectum. It is about the size and shape of a walnut and should feel firm.

Once you've located the prostate, you're going to apply some pressure. Make "come here" motions with your finger toward the front of his body, pressing into the prostate. Stroke firmly, but take care not to jab him with a fingernail. This is another great move to combine with a hand job or blow job.

If he enjoys internal stimulation, you might also try one of the variety of anal toys on the market. Some are designed to simply put pressure on the prostate, while others provide vibration. If you do insert anything other than a finger up the bum, remember that the rectum is essentially a vacuum. Anything that does not have a flange or flared base can get sucked inside and send you on a very embarrassing trip to the ER. Using toys specifically designed for anal play is the best way to keep your anal adventures in the bedroom where they belong!

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