Lotus Position
Position Type: 
Difficulty Level: 
Intermediate

Perhaps best known by practitioners of Tantric sex, the Lotus position allows for intimate connection between partners while limiting movement, allowing you to slow the pace of sex and appreciate the more subtle sensations. This position is unlikely to bring orgasm in either partner, which is precisely the reason some practice it; it can prolong sex and shift the focus from achieving orgasm to the energy and connection between two people.

To experience the benefits of this position, focus on taking deep breaths and synchronizing your breathing with your partner. Make eye contact and focus on the sensations you are experiencing. This position keeps your hands free, and they are best used here for loving touch and gentle caresses. Remember that this position is not about enthusiastic thrusting and a race toward orgasm. Take it as an opportunity to experience intense intimacy with your partner.

Although you can't thrust much in this position, it is a great position for the woman to focus on creating a different type of stimulation with her pelvic muscles. To do this, she will contract her pelvic floor, squeezing her partner's penis. If you've heard of Kegel exercises, then this move will be familiar to you; you simply do Kegels around your partner's penis. If you haven't done Kegel exercises before, you'll first need to find the muscle to be exercised. The best way to discover this muscle is to think of stopping the flow of urine while you pee: the muscle that contracts is your pelvic floor. Now that you have found the right muscle, find a time to concentrate on contracting it several times in a row. Luckily, nobody can tell you're doing your Kegels, so you can do them at your desk at work, while watching TV, while driving--pretty much anytime! Practicing Kegels outside of the bedroom will tone and strengthen this muscle and make you better able to stimulate your partner this way.

You might notice in this position that a man's erection comes and goes as he is having sex. This is a normal part of the sexual cycle and can happen with any position, but it is more noticeable here because the stimulation is not as intense and you are likely to spend more time on sex before orgasm. If you are enjoying this position there is no need to panic that he is not constantly rock-hard. Continue to kiss, breathe together, and focus on your connection. If he is relaxed and enjoying himself, he'll come back to full mast.

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