The Guide to Going Down on Women

What's warm, wet, and better than a dozen roses? That's right—it's your very own mouth, provided you know how to use it. Mastering the art of oral sex takes concentration and practice, but it's worth the effort to learn. There are few women who can resist the allure of a partner with a skilled and knowledgeable tongue.

It's hard to believe that just a few decades ago, oral sex was considered a perverted act. Laws against it are still on the books in nearly 20 states. And yet, many people now consider it a sexual staple. If you haven't yet mastered the art of going down, it's time to jump on the bandwagon.

There are many reasons to learn to give great head. The first and foremost: many women orgasm most easily from oral sex. The concentrated stimulation and warm, wet feeling are impossible to obtain any other way. The female orgasm can be an elusive phenomenon, but for many women, oral sex is an intimate and highly effective way to reach a climax.

Many women like to receive oral sex before intercourse. If she isn't able to orgasm from intercourse, as many women aren't, she may want to have an orgasm from oral sex before moving on to intercourse. This can take the pressure off of both of you, as you know she's taken care of. Oral sex is also a great buildup to other activities, and she may not want to orgasm when you're going down on her—she may have other things on her mind! Many women who have trouble reaching their peak during intercourse find that if they are brought just to the edge of orgasm before starting penetration, thrusting will then provide the stimulation they need to push them over the edge.

Of course, oral sex is not just foreplay. It can be a very satisfying activity in and of itself. There is no risk of pregnancy with oral sex, and many STDs are more difficult to transmit this way. A good oral sex session can be a way to be intimate with someone without the stress of worrying about birth control.

Beyond the physical sensation, giving her oral sex is a way to communicate caring and concern for her pleasure. Spending time focusing just on her needs, paying attention to what she wants and enjoys, shows her affection in a unique and special way. Combine this level of caring with ninja-like tongue skills, and you'll be a man she won't soon forget.

The 5 Commandments of Going Down

1. Know the territory. Be well aware of her anatomy so you're not flying blind. Study our Guide to Women's Anatomy if you're not familiar with the vulva (the vulva is the true name for her external genitals; "vagina" technically refers to just the opening into her body). The part that challenges men the most is finding the clitoris. Remember that the clitoris is about 1-2 inches above the opening of the vagina. To find it, first identify her inner lips. These lips are pink to purple in color, hairless, and sometimes slightly moist. They may be tucked up between her outer lips or they may come out a bit. The inner lips run from the opening of her vagina at the bottom to the top of her vulva, where they join together to form the clitoral hood. This is just what it sounds like: kind of like a soft, fleshy hood on a tiny hooded sweatshirt. The clitoris is found inside the hood. It may be quite hidden, or it may stick out a bit. If she's turned on, it's more likely that it will come out.

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