5 Things You Won't Learn by Watching Porn

I like porn as much as the next gal, but I get a little touchy when I hear that people are watching it for tips on technique. The vast majority of adult movies are made to titillate and entertain you, not to teach you how to have great sex. There are some notable exceptions (Nina Hartley, for instance, is a porn star who’s produced a line of high quality instructional sex videos) but for the most part, watching porn to learn about sex will leave you with some major misconceptions. Here are a few things NOT to learn from watching porn.

  1. How to give oral sex to a woman. If you’ve read our Guide to Going Down on Women, you’ve already heard us rant about the dreaded lizard-tongue technique used in porn. Women want lots of warm, wet stimulation all over their vulvas, not a pointy tongue flicking at their private parts. The style of cunnilingus you see in porn is for the camera angle, not for the actress’ pleasure.
  2. How to give a woman an orgasm. Porn actresses often put on big shows of excitement while doing things that would be unlikely to bring an orgasm in the real world. For instance, the majority of real women do not have orgasms from vaginal sex alone. Women who do orgasm from vaginal sex often come from rhythmic rocking or grinding movements rather than from hard in-and-out thrusting. But how many times have you seen a porn actress screaming her head off as her partner is pounding away like a jackhammer? She might be one of the few women who come this way—or she might just be a good actress!
  3. How hard he’ll be. It is normal for a man’s erection to come and go during sexual activity. After he gets hard but before he comes, his erection will soften and harden several times. In porn, any lagging in a man’s erection is edited right out, giving the impression that he stays rock hard for hours at a time.
  4. How long he will last. The type of vigorous in-and-out thrusting that is normally shown in porn can only be sustained by the average man for three to five minutes. Yes, I said three to five minutes! Men in the real world who would like sex to last for longer than five minutes generally mix hard thrusting with gentler thrusting or rocking movements (which have the added benefit of being preferred by many women).
  5. Which sex positions to use. We’ve all been impressed by the acrobatics in porn. Some of the moves bring to mind a naughty Cirque du Soleil. But as with so many aspects of porn, those complicated positions are for your entertainment, not for the actors’ pleasure. Most real couples enjoy a few basic positions in their day-to-day sex lives and focus on fine-tuning these to get the most pleasure. For most people. trying bizarre positions is more likely to result in a charley horse than a mind-blowing orgasm.

So where should you look for sex tips, if not porn? Try some of the videos by Nina Hartley or Tristan Taormino. Both of these stars create sexy and informative adult education videos on a variety of topics.

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